I have devoted a very huge part of my recent growth to understanding human behaviours, pattern and their mindsets. This is both in a bid to re-invent myself and also build on my profession as a people developer.
Research and reality has it that we all get overwhelmed by our emotions at times, some of which may lead to irrational behavior, especially anger.
There is nothing wrong in getting angry, provided you know how to make the best of the situation.
I have been called ‘Mr Smiley’ at times, other times I have been called ‘Sir Laugh-a-lot.’ Some have asked me if I ever get angry. Sometimes people do things to piss me off in order to see my reaction to certain situations.
Do I ever get angry? Or do I just control myself and refuse to take rash actions. I have not always been that calm and forgiving, maybe because I studied on Anger management, emotional intelligence and Psychology.
Back in secondary school, I wasn’t a wicked senior student, I cared about the junior ones and gladly nobody stepped on my toes. Even if they had, I wouldn’t have caused the person any pain. Or maybe not.
I slapped a junior student and pus came out of his ear. Was that the best reaction to anger? I had a little quarrel with my fellow student, he made me really angry. That night I burnt him with hot iron. Nobody knew it was me, not even him. Others were punished for it, I wish I knew better.
Feeling angry is part of being human. It is a natural response to being attacked, insulted, deceived or frustrated. Sometimes, excessive anger can also be a symptom of some mental health problems.
That is the height of anger; some get so angry and curse, some “just say their mind,” others get into a fight. There is a display of emotional instability and inability to control our actions. Anger becomes a problem when it harms you or people around you. This can depend on whether you express your anger, and how you express it.
So what do I do when I am angry? Or before I get angry.
Source: ojoboagbo
Source: ojoboagbo
Understand Yourself:
For example, you may be getting angry every time a senior male colleague tells you to do something. This could be because you had an unpleasant experience in the past with another male authority figure e.g. your father, or a previous boss. Or it may be you get angry each time you’re in a situation you have no control over.
What are the things that got you pissed? What were the circumstances? Did someone say or do something to trigger your anger? How did you feel? How did you behave? How did you feel afterwards.? Just recognising what is making you angry can sometimes be enough to help.
Understand the situation and others:
Walk away from the confrontation. You can count to ten when faced with a situation. Think about the situation, what it means and what the person really means. If you don’t understand the message, ask the person again.
Make it difficult for others to make you angry:
As humans, we have certain rules as to what makes us angry, happy, sad etc. The wrong thing is that people have harder standards for others to make them happy, and lower standards for others to get them angry. Change your rules balance.
Be considerate to others. Be more understanding. Be more forgiving. Not every situation requires that you react.
Make this steps a success.
Things that increase the chances of success:
There are a number of things that will help you to succeed in managing your anger:
-Practice: you need to practice the strategies which you have decided to try.-
-Perseverance: keep trying, even if you don’t have immediate success.
-Patience: your anger difficulties took time to develop; it will also take time to learn how to manage your anger.
-Planning: plan what you are going to do, don’t take a random approach.
-Determination: you will need determination to succeed
-Optimistic Thinking: approach managing your anger from an optimistic point of view. You are going to succeed at this.
-Responsibility taking: others may be able to help but ultimately you are responsible for changing your behaviour
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